April 2017 Competition Results – Beverley Birch

Beverley Birch was shortlisted three times for the Branford Boase Award in recognition of the editor’s role in nurturing new talent and, as a prolific author, she was also nominated for the Carnegie medal. Hampshire Writers’ Society is most appreciative to Beverley, who graciously came to our rescue by agreeing to be our April adjudicator as well as our speaker. In return, our members managed to supply entries that made it difficult for her to choose the usual two highly commended places. The competition, ‘Write a children’s story, inspired by a well-known story for children’, meant that after choosing 1st, 2nd and 3rd place, Beverley was unable to decide and ended up choosing four additional pieces to praise.

1st Place: Cass Morgan – Mrs Bilious

2nd Place: Kristin Tridimas – A Koala Named Sydney

3rd Place: Matthew Cross – George and the Dragon

Highly Commended: Annie Vine – The Wild Colt

Highly Commended: Linda Welch – Unexpected Treasure

Highly Commended: Ant Ridgeway – Friends

Highly Commended: Kim Howard – Mirror, Mirror

1st Place: Mrs Bilious – Cass Morgan (Inspired by Roald Dahl’s Matilda, or, more specifically, by Miss Trunchbull and the chapter, ‘Bruce Bogtrotter and the Cake’).

Beverley Birch: This was altogether strong. The punchy opening brings the situation instantly to life, the child point of view keeps us locked in the story through a distinctive sense of voice, good narrative flow and pacing. And a tricky situation for the child characters to escape (always appealing), is enlivened by effective and efficiently used imagery. A definite winner!

Winner First

At 11:57, putting a handful of insects into the lunchbox of Mrs Bilious was funny. At 12:03, the reality was hilarious. At 12.05, it was the worst thing they’d ever, ever done.

Simon shuddered as he looked at Joel. His best friend’s left eye stared in horror. His right winked as something scuttled across his eyelash. Hands clenched to the chair seat, shoulders high to his ears, Joel’s cheeks puffed out wide. Two ants emerged from the corner of his mouth, ran across his face, over his ear and into the safety of his hair.

Hot breath blew onto Simon’s cheek. He turned towards the cherry-cheeked face of Mrs Bilious. She leaned in close. Through cement-coloured teeth came odours of sugared tea and half-digested digestives.

‘Eat up,’ her voice whispered.

‘No.’

‘Sandwich-spoiling brats will be punished. Now, EAT UP!’

Her yellowy eyes sizzled and locked onto his. There was nothing he could do but scoop his hand into the lunchbox. Ants scurried and hurried onto his hand, up his arm and into his sleeve. Others dropped to the table in their bid to escape. The unlucky ones stayed where they were, with no idea what was coming.

Back leaned Mrs Bilious. Every part of her blazed in delight; her mouth tight in a triumphant smile, her eyes agog, her grey curls bounced in anticipation. Even the hairs in her nostrils quivered in glee.

Simon closed his eyes, opened his mouth and threw in the ants.

If they were mad before, now they were livid. Up the insides of his cheeks they darted, over his tongue, through the gaps in his teeth. It was like popping candy gone horribly, horribly wrong.

He wanted to spit out. He had to. But the smell of tea and digestives wafted in his nostrils. There was no going back, and he knew it.

2nd Place: A Koala Named Sydney – Kristin Tridimas

Beverley Birch: A very close second. Koala’s eye-view and voice has great appeal, laced with a wry humour. Excellent command of language, and pacing, and sets the scene, backstory and predicament swiftly without losing momentum.

Winner Second

It was hot and uncomfortable inside the human girl’s bag. He had been bashed and banged and now seemed to be travelling along something which kept changing direction. And to make things worse, he only had one cough sweet left. He’d saved it for emergencies, wrapped up in his bandana.

Great Aunt Victoria had been very clear. ‘Don’t let anyone see you, or they’ll send you back. Even worse, they might put you in a zoo!’

Surely one quick look wouldn’t do any harm?

He hooked his claw round the end of the zip and pulled. Poked out his nose. This place smelt of plastic and metal and tired people. He put his eye to the opening. He was moving slowly past a forest of legs. For a second, he thought back to his gum tree home in the Australian bush. He could smell the eucalyptus. Hear the kookaburras.

His home was gone now. The bush fire had destroyed it.

A pair of familiar pink legs swam into sight.

‘Dad, it’s my bag!’

He shrank back down inside.

He seemed to be flying but then there was a big bump.

‘You wait here while I get the suitcase. I shouldn’t be long.’

Footsteps, going away. People talking. The rattle of wheels.

The screech of a zip.

The zip!

The girl’s face was inches away. Her eyes were open wide.

‘What are you doing here?’

He gave her his friendliest smile. ‘G’day!’

She yelped and jumped back.

A second later, her face came close again. ‘You can speak!’ she whispered. ‘What’s your name?’

He clicked and whistled. ‘That means Climbs to the Edge in koala.’

‘I’m Jenny. You need a real name.’ She looked at something above his head. ‘I’m going to call you Sydney.’

He was safe.

3rd Place: George and the Dragon – Matthew Cross

Beverley Birch: This is a clever, funny take on the traditional tale, bringing both George and the dragon instantly to life, each with a distinctive voice and a convincing relationship that promises fun ahead.

Winner Third

A chilling roar caused him to raise his shield. Instead of fire, the cavern filled with thick white smoke and a fizzing sound. George stepped softly towards the source. It was a young dragon, squeezed into a whalebone girdle, its wings and legs tied with rope. He crept forwards and drew his sword.

“Hello.” It said in a low rumbling voice. George paused, he wondered whether he could kill something that said hello to him. “Look, this is rather embarrassing. If you could be a good fellow and cut me down, you may choose any treasure you desire.” George hesitated, then raised his sword and severed the ropes. The dragon prized itself from the girdle before sitting on its hoard. “All I want is a peaceful place to hibernate, a comfortable hoard, and the occasional sheep for a snack.”

“Oh, the kingdom ran out of sheep.” George sat opposite the dragon, his shield close just in case.

“They sent their own kind instead – who does that? Why not a goat?” The dragon burped another cloud of smoke and fizz.

“Your breath poisoned a nearby village.”

“Eating humans gives me terrible indigestion. I had to take antacids.”

“Why did you keep eating the tributes?”

“Humans are like chocolate, I can never have just one.” George pulled a packet of jelly babies from his backpack and offered one to the dragon. “Yuk, how can you eat those?”

“So how did you get stuck in the…girdle?”

“The princess jumped me when I left the cave. That girl is malicious, no wonder the king left her as a tribute.” The dragon appeared deflated.

George eyed an ornate wine bottle among mound of treasure. An idea spread from his mind into a smile on his lips. “I have a cunning plan, put the girdle on again.”

Highly Commended: The Wild Colt – Annie Vine (Inspired by Jill’s Gymkhana by Ruby Ferguson)

Beverley Birch: A good, tight narrative style which brings the setting, character, and particularly the colt’s character and terror instantly alive. A good sense of audience here.

‘He’s eight months old. Sire’s a half-thoroughbred and Dam’s a Welsh Mountain,’ said Tom, his cheerful voice unusually tense. ‘First saw a human six days ago. Had a heck of a job getting him into the horsebox.’

A powerful hoof assault made the box quiver. Edie peeked through the eye-slat. The colt’s neck muscles were so taut they made his head twitch upwards. His wide eyes relayed his fear – no pools of melted chocolate – they were steely black with whites that resembled human’s. His muddy, matted coat, now dry and cracked, had turned into dragon scales, sliding smoothly as he moved. Barbs shortened his tail – the web of hairs gripped them like cossetted treasure.

Edie’s fingers itched to caress, to reassure, to calm.

Don’t worry, little colt, you’re mine now. You’re safe.

‘Help me with the door,’ ordered Tom.

With the latches straightened, the door slid open.

The colt leapt from the back of the horsebox into the gaping hole of light.

Tom’s shock was audible. ‘Lucky I backed up and opened the gate.’

Edie’s heart flipped as she watched the rump muscles gather and stretch as the colt bolted away. Despite his nervousness, his poise was faultless. Once he realised he was safe, he would hold his tail confidently, not hanging like the flag of a lost battle.

‘Look at that stride,’ admired Tom. ‘You’ll be winning the gymkhanas with him.’

The colt slowed to a trot. Lean, smooth legs stretched.

‘Or the dressage…’

Galvanised, the colt broke into a canter and raced towards the wooden fence.

Edie gasped. If he rammed it, the wood would slinter into deadly spears.

His timing was perfect, forelegs rose with tucked hooves. He cleared the fence gracefully.

Edie bit her bottom lip. ‘I think my dream of showjumping has just become a reality.’

Now all she had to do was catch him.

Highly Commended: Unexpected Treasure – Linda Welch

Beverley Birch: Lovely flavour and rhythms, enhanced by quirky detail and swiftly conveyed, convincing characterization of a boy and his grandfather with the promise of interesting action to come.

Jamie loved weekends with his Granddad. He picked him up from school on Friday afternoon and they had fish and chips for supper, straight out of the wrapper.   On Saturday morning they got up early and drove to the Municipal Dump.   The sign on the gate said Household Waste Recycling Centre but Granddad said it had been the Municipal Dump ever since he was a little boy himself (about a hundred years ago, Jamie thought). Jamie was supposed to stay in the car because there were cars and lorries manoeuvring about the yard, but he was allowed look around the small shop where they sold some of the things people were throwing away.

‘People buy rubbish?’ he asked incredulously, and Granddad laughed.

‘One man’s rubbish is another man’s treasure. You never know what you might find.’

Today Jamie bought an old binocular case that was just the right size to hold a bottle of juice and a banana for school. The man only charged him 25p and Jamie hurried back to the car to wait for Granddad.   As he knelt on the seat and looked out of the back window he saw another little boy climbing over the back fence of the tip.   No-one else seemed to notice him slide into one of the skips, but as Jamie watched, he saw him throw a piece of corrugated plastic out of the skip, and climb back out again. Jamie got out of the car and went over to him.

‘You’re not supposed to be wandering around, it’s dangerous. What do you want that for, anyway?’

‘Roof,’ the boy said.

‘Cool! Are you making a den?’ Jamie asked, not waiting for him to answer. ‘What’s your name?’

‘Stig,’ he said, and disappeared back over the fence, dragging the plastic behind him.

Highly Commended: Friends – Ant Ridgeway

Beverley Birch: A very effective voice (a donkey) brings the reader convincingly into his state of mind and character, with some light touches of humour. Tightly written with a good narrative flow.

I’m bored. I’ve been standing alone in my field all day. There’s an itch on my back. I tried rubbing against the fence but I can’t quite reach it. The three ponies in the next field are eating grass. Lovely shiny coats they have. Not like mine, rough like tree bark. I trotted over to say hello.

‘Eeeaw, eeeaw’.

One of them looked up, tossed her mane and carried on munching. The other two took no notice as if I wasn’t there.

It’s cold today. Wind and rain have soaked me to my bones. My shelter blew down. There are trees where the ponies are. Not here. So I’m standing all alone, head down.

Wait. Who’s that climbing over the gate in his yellow coat and hat? It’s the boy. He’s got that little animal in his hand, the one which doesn’t move. Says it’s his bear, whatever that is. Says it has very little brain. That bouncy puppy’s with him too. Wish I could wriggle under the hedge like him. I’m too big. Don’t like his nippy teeth. Seems to think my hooves are for nibbling. Last week, he ate my best thistle. I was saving it for breakfast. He didn’t like it. He started yelping, pawing at his mouth. If he’s not careful, I’ll bite him. Or maybe I’ll kick him.

‘I’ve bought you a birthday present,’ the boy said.

Is it? I thought. Wasn’t that a long time ago? I swished my tail. ‘It’s a pot. It had honey in it. We had to eat it ‘cos it was a long journey.’

He put it on the ground.

‘There’s a balloon too. Sorry it popped on the thorns.’ I glimpsed aflash of red inside the pot.

‘Eeeaw, eeeaw.’

The boy laughed.

Not alone anymore.

Highly Commended: Mirror, Mirror – Kim Howard

Beverley Birch: A clever and successful send-up of several fairy tales, with life seen from the point of view of the mirror fed up with the fairyland beauty leagues. Dry humour and quirky detail – lots of fun in this.

The lack of manners upsets me most. I never get a ‘good morning’ or a ‘how are you?’ It’s always “Mirror, mirror on the wall….”

Of course I’m on the wall. A heavy chain and some hefty nails make sure of that. They aren’t interested in me. No one ever compliments me on the carved wood of my frame or says ‘wow, have you been polished?” They only want to know one thing – where they rank in the fairyland beauty leagues. They have no imagination. They must be able to say something other than “…who is the fairest of them all?”

As if I’m going to tell them what I really think. It can be tough, but I always try to find something positive to say. Not because I care about how the silly self-obsessed things feel. I can’t risk someone getting upset enough to start throwing things. I’m made of glass. I’d never recover if someone smacked me in the face with a hairbrush.

I was chatting with Cinderella’s glass slippers the other day. The one who stayed on her foot is too smug for words, but I really feel for the other one. She was convinced she was going to shatter when those big ugly sisters tried to stuff their fat feet inside her. And she still hasn’t got rid of the bloodstains. Fortunately, since their mother chopped their feet about, it’s harder for them to hobble up to the castle. I dread telling them their league status.

Uh oh. Here comes the little girl with the scarlet cloak. Well, not so little any more. She’s a stroppy teenager now. Since that incident in the woods with her granny and the wolf, she’s started carrying an axe in her basket. Someone should tell her that red isn’t her colour, but it won’t be me.

February Competition: Winners and Jude Evans’ Adjudication

 

We were very fortunate to welcome Jude Evans from Little Tiger Press as our adjudicator for February.

The number of entries has grown again this month and was an amazing 42!

Jude’s involvement inspired many members to enter more than once. I was amused by the titles of some of the pieces but I’m sure Jude chose the winners with an expert eye. Jude’s comments are below, her choice of winners is:

1st Place

Sophie by Andy J Steele

2nd Place

Marcelo Wakes the Jungle Up by Kate Prince

3rd Place

Ten Little Acorns by Kristin Tridimas

Highly Commended:

The Monster of the Wood by Rob Iliffe

The Boy who Couldn’t Read by Caroline Meech

Congratulations to all.

I have noticed that some of you are anxious that your entries reach us and sometimes I take a couple of days to reply – apologies. I have set up an automatic reply so that you know your work has got through but I will come back to you ASAP if anything is wrong with your entry.

Next months competition is to write:

A single-page synopsis, any topic. (350 words)

The adjudicator will be Becky Bagnall, literary agent from Lindsay Literary Agency.

Keep writing,

Sharon

 

1st Place

Sophie by Andy J Steele

‘An original and funny story of friendship, rivalry and moral values, Sophie has an unexpected twist that encourages the reader to think twice about jumping to conclusions. The writing is fresh and vibrant, with a fluid, natural rhyming scheme and a delightfully surreal turn of phrase, shown aptly in the stanza:

So now I sit alone,

In a corner of the class,

Where my only friend’s a pencil,

And I don’t think that’ll last.’  Jude Evans.

 

Sophie                        By Andy J Steele

Sophie is so smart.

Sophie is so cool.

Sophie runs a business

at break-times in school.

 

Sophie is so pretty –

and always full of charm.

Everybody likes her;

she’s the Bestest Girl by far.

 

Megan’s Dad’s a lawyer,

but Sophie’s is a rock star.

Dani rides a scooter,

but Sophie owns a car.

 

Sophie’s good at everything.

Sophie’s just the best.

But the more I sit around her,

The more I feel distressed.

 

‘My party was on an island,

way out into the sea.

I found some hungry people

and had them round to tea.

 

‘I gave them all my presents.

They couldn’t thank me more.

They flew us in their spaceship

and left me one to store!’

 

‘Argh!’ I wailed; a desperate sigh.

‘I’ve got a bleeding nose.’

And if I stay around your lies

it’ll surely end in blows.

 

‘I’ve climbed the highest mountain…

I’ve sailed the seven seas…

I’ve got a talking lion…

I walked a bridge made out of bees.

 

‘My best friend’s a princess

in a far and distant land,

where together we’ve made water

from the driest sand.’

 

‘NO – YOU – HAVEN’T!’ I shook my head.

‘I beg of you to stop.

If I hear one more lie from you,

my head might just go POP!’

 

With a hundred faces staring,

She took a bag of sand.

She dropped it in a funnel –

and from it water ran.

 

So now I sit alone,

In a corner of the class,

Where my only friend’s a pencil,

And I don’t think that’ll last.

 

Sophie’s playing football,

She’s taking on all teams

by playing in all positions;

She’s not the liar it seems.

 

She scores a dozen goals,

Appears destined for the squad,

But the teacher doesn’t pick her;

Lily has it by a nod.

 

She sees me watching and comes across;

I try to look away.

‘I know you hate me,’ she starts to say.

‘I hope we’re friends some day.’

 

I can’t stay mad. She’s got That Look.

I hope she doesn’t cry.

‘You’ll get used to losing,

but only if you try.’

 

Now Sophie’s in America;

She might be gone all term,

She’s won the Nobel Peace Prize:

Some people never learn!

 

2nd Place

Marcelo Wakes the Jungle Up by Kate Prince

‘With its unusual cast of characters, including a snub-nose monkey, loris, mouse deer and leopard, this is charming story woven from the intriguing characteristic of the snub-nose monkey hero: that if rain lands on their upturned noses, it makes them sneeze. The characterisation and dialogue are strong and the playful use of language would delight children.’ Jude Evans

 

Marcelo Wakes the Jungle Up By Kate Prince.

DRIP-DROP

DRIP-DROP

SPLISH-SPLOSH

SPLISH-SPLOSH

 

DEEP in the rain forests of Northern Burma, Marcelo the snub-nose monkey and his friends Ramone, the Hog Badger and Clara and Kitty, the Striped-Squirrel twins, were walking to Myanmar Primary School for Jungle Animals, when it started to rain.

 

‘Quick Marcelo take cover!’ Ramone shouted.

 

But it was too late!

 

‘Aitishoooooooooooooooooo!’

 

‘Oh No I’ve started sneezing,’ Marcelo shouted.

 

‘Aitishoooooooooooooooooo!’

Poor Marcelo is allergic to rain!

 

BOX OUT: (optional)

Snub-nose monkeys live in the rain forests of Northern Burma; as well as up-turned noses, which cause them to sneeze when it rains, they have protruding ear tufts, a white moustache and beard.

In the rain they often put their head between their legs to keep dry!

 

‘WHAT ever is this terrible disturbance?’

 

It was Doris the Loris!

 

She did not seem happy.

 

‘This is the second morning you have woken me up,’ she huffed.

 

‘Sorry,’ Marcelo explained, ‘but each time a rain falls on my nose I sneeze.’

And, as if to prove the point, he started to sneeze again

 

Aitishoooooooooooooooo!

 

Ramone and Clara started to laugh but Doris was not amused.

 

As the friends carried on walking, the rain kept getting heavier.

 

DRIP-DROP

DRIP-DROP

SPLISH-SPLOSH

SPLISH-SPLOSH

 

‘Aitishoooooooooooooooo!’

 

Clara handed Marcelo a hankie.

 

‘Excuse me,’ they heard a small voice.

 

It was Deidre the Mouse Deer!

 

‘I’m sorry to bother you but I’m trying to sleep and your sneezes are so loud.’

 

‘sorry,’ he whispered, ‘’l promise I’ll try to stop sneezing.’

 

But, as hard as he tried, Marcelo just could not stop!

 

‘Aitishoooooooooooooooo!’

 

‘Shhhh,’ Kitty whispered, ‘there are some animals that we DEFINITELY DO NOT want to wake up.’

 

They all nodded in agreement.

 

They carried on walking through the undergrowth, past the creek and the crumbling pagodas.

 

Marcelo sneezed and sneezed.

 

‘Aitishoooooooooooooooo!’

‘Aitishoooooooooooooooo!’

 

‘What is this DREADFUL noissssssssssssse?’

 

It was Drake the Snake!

 

‘I am trying to SSSsssnoozze!’ he said.

 

‘Sorry Drake, I mean Mr Snake,’ Ramone replied, ‘we are TRYING really hard to be quiet.’

 

‘Not hard enough now ……Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I want peacccccccccccce and quiet,’ and he slithered grumpily off.

 

‘Let’s hope the snake is the most dangerous animal Marcelo wakes up with his sneezing,’ Clara whispered to Kitty.

 

‘Aitishoooooooooooooooo!’

 

All of a sudden the little group heard a loud and very angry GROWL!

 

‘What is that unbearable racket?’ the voice roared.

 

Very slowly, Ramone, Marcelo, Clara and Kitty looked up.

 

It was Victor the Leopard!

 

He was lounging in a tree.

 

‘Oh no,’ Whispered Kitty.

 

‘I am trying to sleep,’ he roared again angrily.

 

Victor stretched his legs and yawned, flicking his tail in Marcelo’s face. The fur made Marcelo sneeze again.

 

‘Aitishoooooooooooooooo!’

 

‘Is it breakfast time already?’ Victor licked his lips. ‘I’m feeling rather peckish.’

 

‘Quick ………………..RUN. I think the Victor wants to eat us……,’ Ramone shouted.

 

Marcelo, Ramone, Kitty and Clara ran and ran, as fast as they could, until they got to the forest clearing.

 

‘We’ll have to find a different way to school,’ Kitty panted.

 

‘There isn’t one,’ Ramone gasped.

 

‘We’ll have to be very quiet then,’ Clara squealed.

 

They all looked at Marcelo!

 

‘But I can’t help sneezing,’ Marcelo whaled.

 

Later that day, when lessons were over, the friends walked nervously towards the clearing

 

It had started to rain again and poor Marcelo began to sneeze again.

 

‘Aitishoooooooooooooooo!

 

‘Shhhhhhhhhhh,’ his friends shouted.

 

But Doris, Deidre, Drake and Victor were already waiting at the edge of the jungle.

 

‘OH NO WE IS FOR IT NOW,’ Ramone shouted, ‘QUICK … RUN!’

 

‘Wait!’ Deirdre shouted, ‘Please wait. We’ve got Marcelo a present.’

 

And there, on the ground was a brightly coloured umbrella.

 

Marcelo opened it up and waved it over his head.

 

‘It’s Beautiful,’ Marcelo shouted.

 

Clara, Kitty and Romone began to dance under it

 

‘Thisssssssssss might finally give us some sssssssssssssssssssome peace and quiet and I might be able to get some ssssssssssleeeeep,’ Drake muttered.

 

‘And I ‘grumbled Doris.

 

‘Thank you,’ Marcelo shouted, ‘this will definitely stop me from sneezing.

 

‘And I will definitely sleep through breakfast now,’ Victor winked.

 

3rd Place

Ten Little Acorns by Kristin Tridimas

‘Ten Little Acorns is an economical twist on a familiar children’s rhyme, blending elements of fiction and non-fiction in a clever and accessible way. It introduces facts about the life cycle of trees in parallel with a visual narrative showing the development of our human world: how our landscape, our fashions and our homes change down the generations, during the life span of one great oak tree’ Jude Evans

Ten Little Acorns by Kristin Tridimas

Ten Little Acorns

 

Page 3                                                                      Illustrations

Title page.                                                                Picture of oak tree.

 

Spread 1

Page 4

Ten little acorns on an old oak tree,                          Oak tree with 10 acorns.

Brown and ripe and as shiny as can be.

 

Page 5

One little acorn falls on stony ground.                      Acorn on gravel path.  Boy and girl on path

                                                                                 wearing Edwardian

                                                                                 clothes.

 

Spread 2

Page 6 (top)

Leaves nine little acorns hanging around.                Oak tree with 9 acorns.

 

Page 6 (bottom)

Nine little acorns on an old oak tree,

Brown and ripe and as shiny as can be.

 

Page 7

One little acorn is carried away.                               Squirrel taking nut.

                                                                                 Boy and girl watching.

 

 

Spread 3

Page 8 (top)

So eight little acorns are all that stay.                        Oak tree with 8 acorns.

 

Page 8 (bottom)

Eight little acorns on an old oak tree,

Brown and ripe and as shiny as can be.

 

Page 9

One little acorn is pecked by a crow.                        Crow with nut in beak.

                                                                                 Boy and girl play in

                                                                                 background.

 

Spread 4

Page 10 (top)

Seven little acorns hang in a row.                            Oak tree with 7 acorns.

 

Page 10 (bottom)

Seven little acorns on an old oak tree,

Brown and ripe and as shiny as can be.

 

Page 11

One little acorn is used in a game.                            Boy and girl use it as

                                                                                 stone in hopscotch.

 

 

 

 

Spread 5

Page 12 (top)

Leaves six little acorns – what a shame!                    Oak tree with 6 acorns.

 

Page 12 (bottom)

Six little acorns on an old oak tree,

Brown and ripe and as shiny as can be.

 

Page 13

One little acorn’s taken by the flood.                         Torrential rain, gushing

                                                                                 water. In background,

                                                                                 boy and girl are splashing in puddles.

 

Spread 6

Page 14

Five little acorns are left in the mud.                          Tree bare, nuts below.

 

Page 15

Five little acorns grow a tiny shoot.                                   Germination.

Deep in the ground they form a tiny root.

 

Spread 7

Page 16                                                                    Double page -16 &17

Five little acorns now begin to grow,                        Pages divided into four

All through the year in sunshine and in snow.          seasons – seedling gets

                                                                                 a bit bigger in each.

 

Spread 8

Page 18

Five little oak trees reach up to the sky.                   

They want to grow tall and leafy and high.

 

Page 19

One little oak tree’s bitten by the frost.                       Fifth tiny tree, leaves

Leaves four little oak trees and one is lost.               dead and brown, frosty

                                                                                 scene. Girl and boy in

                                                                                 scarves and hats – a bit

                                                                                 bigger – different hair?

 

Spread 9

Page 20 (top)

One year later …

                                    Page 20 (bottom)

Four little oak trees reach up to the sky.

They want to grow tall and leafy and high.

 

Page 21

One little oak tree is trampled and torn.                    Girl and boy playing,

Three little oak trees are left all forlorn.                     accidentally step on

                                                                                 fourth small tree.

 

 

 

 

Spread 10

Page 22 (top)

Twenty years later …

                                                                                

Page 22 (bottom)

Three biggish oak trees reach up to the sky.

Already they’re growing leafy and high.

 

Page 23

One biggish oak tree is cleared for a wall.               Third middle-sized tree

Two biggish oak trees are left to grow tall.                is lying on ground with

                                                                                 man and small girl in

                                                                                 thirties clothes looking at it. There is a big brick

                                                                                 wall and houses behind.

Spread 11

Page 24 (top)

Fifty years later …

                                                                                

Page 24 (bottom)

Two giant oak trees reach up to the sky.

Already they’re growing leafy and high.

 

Page 25

One giant oak tree is chopped down for wood.                Second tall tree being

One lone oak tree grows as big as it should.           sawn up. Big machinery.

                                                                                 Great-grandfather,

                                                                                 grandmother, father and

                                                                                 baby watching. 1980s.

Spread 12

Page 26 (top)

One hundred years later …                                     Double page spread.   Tall oak tree with ten

                                                                                 acorns, like picture p.4

                                                                                 except is in small park

                                                                                 between housing estate and road. Sun shines.

Page 26 (bottom)                                                     A girl and boy in modern clothes play in play area of park.

 One tall oak tree at the edge of the wood,            They are watched by great-grandmother, grandfather and mother.                                                            

Grows ten little acorns and that is good.                      

The sun shines down after plenty of rain.                                                                                    

The acorns swell and we begin again. 

 

 

 

Steve Voake – Writing for the Young Adult

Hampshire Writers’ Society 8th December 2015

Report Lisa Nightingale

A special festive celebration with members of the committee dressed as characters from children’s books and  energetic entertainment from the Winchester Morris Men.

Steve Voake, children’s author

Writing for the Young Adult

‘What if…..’ ‘Once upon a time ….’

Stories always push at Steve Voake’s mind. While out for a walk one day he began looking at insects as military vehicles – wasps became fighter planes, ants became tanks.

He began writing what was to be The Dreamwalker’s Child. 30,000 words later, he hated it. He couldn’t leave it alone now, not after investing so much time and effort in it. So, guess what? He went for a walk and thought ‘You know what? When writing gets really hard – it is not that you can’t do it. It’s just got really hard.’

Steve Voake picture

Steve, a busy Head Teacher and father of young children, concocted a work schedule. He settled on a goal, his most productive writing place and time and the novel was finished.

He submitted to various agents, including Colville and Walsh who said, wait 3 months. Then they told him to wait a little longer. Eventually they decided to ‘work with it.’ The deal was done and book 2 was due in only 9 months. Work schedule or not, Steve admits it ‘nearly killed him.’

When the next deal offered was for 3 books. He loved his teaching job, but it was time for change.

Using the ‘What if…’ question followed by the 3 rules of writing –

  1. Conflict
  2. Conflict
  3. Conflict

The high-octane Starlight Conspiracy was written. Using the same mantra, Blood Hunters followed. Steve always steers clear of grotesque and swearing. Some children do like to be frightened. More like to read their character living through those fears. Hope is at the core of his characters’ stories.

Steve VoakeIt was then that an opportunity not to be missed came his way – the chance to work with his cousin. The Insect Detective, a non-fiction children’s book was produced.

Daisy Dawson, a girl who can communicate with animals and Hooey Higgins, a boy getting up to mischief with memorable friends provided Steve with a lot of fun.

Writing can be a solitary life and he began to miss the hubbub of school life. He began giving paid-by-the-hour lectures at the University of Bath. This grew into a regular slot on their Creative Writing course. He agrees with the notion – ‘Make progress. Get it written. Then review the wreckage.’

 

Steve Voake, ex-headteacher and critically acclaimed author of novels for the young adult, including The Dreamwalker’s Child, The Web of Fire, The Starlight Conspiracy, Dark Woods, Bloodhunters.

To find out more about Steve Voake’s books go to his publisher’s website: http://www.faber.co.uk/author/steve-voake/

Special Guest: Dr Vanessa Harbour

‘I have the best job in the world!’ says Dr Vanessa Harbour of the Faculty of Arts at Winchester University.

As an English student at Winchester University, she had no intention of writing for children. However, she gave it a go and found her ‘voice’.

Since then creative writing has found its voice at Winchester University too. Outward module are core to the course equipping student with the tools to make writing a viable career choice.

Dr Vanessa also works with Imogen Cooper, instigator of the Golden Egg Academy. The ‘Eggs’ are the Academy students. The Academy nurtures their eggs until their craft is perfectly honed. Congratulations Golden Egg Academy – their 13th egg has just been awarded a publishing contract. And that is just in 3 years!

Dr Vanessa is still writing. She is currently mid-way through a middle-grade story based on the harsh facts of war.

https://www.goldeneggacademy.co.uk/

May Competition Winners 2013

Report by Hermione Laake

‘Write the opening chapter of a children’s book for children age 8-12 years.’

Judy Waite (an award winning writer and a senior lecturer with The University of Winchester, who has written at least 40 books), was our adjudicator for the evening. Judy said that she had enjoyed reading the entries and that it was just as enjoyable as reading a book on her way home from work. Judy explained that the main criteria which she used for judgement was whether people had adhered properly to the description given for the competition (for example, the age that the work was aimed at was important).

In her usual playful style Judy kept us in suspense as she announced the winners.

You can read more about Judy at www.judywaite.com

 

In 1st place: Pickled Squirrel and Chips by Helen Adlam

2nd Place: Red Alert at Zyfn Academy by Dorothy Collard

3rd Place: Wizzy’s Worm by Anthony Ridgway

 

Highly Commended (in no particular order):

Jesse Ray by Lisa Nightingale

Brotherhood of the Bee b Celia Livesey

Introducing Candy Cupcake by Karina Moore

An Evening with Nicolette Jones

Report by Celia Livesey

The special guest speaker, Cllr Frank Pearson, the Mayor of Winchester, was accompanied by the Mayoress, Mrs Ann Pearson. The Mayor gave a fascinating talk on the history of Winchester. The office of Mayor of Winchester is one of the oldest mayoralties in England, dating back to the period when the city was the national capital. The current Mayor of Winchester, Cllr Frank Pearson is the 813th in the office. IMG_1216 (2)

During his term as Mayor, Cllr Pearson’s chosen charities will be The Magic Wand Appeal for the RHCH, the Felix Fund-the bomb disposal charity and Bishop’s Waltham Community Responders. The theme of the chosen charities is ‘A helping hand’.

After a tremendous opening of the new season in September with Baroness James and a terrific follow on with Marc Morris, historian and author in October, I knew it would be a difficult task to top the previous speakers. However, for November, I am delighted to report that the HWS have managed to pull off a ‘hat-trick’ with last night’s main speaker, Nicolette Jones, writer, journalist and broadcaster.

Nicolette gave a brief outline of her early years, and how her love of art and books was very much shaped by her father. As Children’s Books Reviewer for the Sunday Times, author of The Plimsoll Sensation, and co-author of Blooming Books, as well as Children’s Books Consultant for the Louise Allen-Jones Agency, Nicolette said that sometimes ‘good books slip through the net’.  A photo of her study, heavily carpeted with wall to wall books, demonstrated the problems all too clearly.     

IMG_1215 (2)The Plimsoll Sensation took ten years to research and write, but Nicolette said that the story of Samuel Plimsoll, British politician and social reformer, was such a wonderful story of human courage and determination that she had to write it. She went on to say that the story had everything – corruption, power struggles, politics and human misery, but the legacy of the ‘Plimsoll line’, (a line on a ship’s hull indicating the maximum safe draft), is something that all sailors today are grateful for.

Nicolette’s popularity was such that the question and answer session was the longest on record. The evening ended with a book signing by Nicolette, and also a surprise ‘free’ books donation for everyone from Crispin Drummond of P& G Wells Book Shop in Winchester.

Speaker: Ali Sparkes Children’s Author: Why Did It Take 30 Years to Find out That I am an Author?

Ali Sparkes didn’t know she was meant to be an author for about 30 years. How she got to be one is a tale of sequins, plops, lovelorn bats, juggling unicyclists, many props and much silliness. In a stirring, tempestuous session, Ali will share her many ups and even more downs… and show you fear in a handful of Tellytubby.  Ali Sparkes’ website.

Review of Hampshire Writers’ Society Evening 10th April 2012 
Report by Carole Hastings:

It was a brilliant evening kicked off by Mark Courtice, the director of the Theatre Royal in Winchester. He told us that the theatre is soon to open its garden space so that theatre goers can have a bite whilst enjoying some new performance pieces. He will be commissioning some new works and is happy to hear from writers who would like to have their works aired at the theatre.

Next up was the Hampshire Poet Laureate, Brian Evan-Jones who read his first commissioned poem on Lymington entitled “By Sea & Forest Enchanted.” He will read his second work as part of the Jubilee celebrations at Winchester Cathedral in June. He has plans to create a poetic map of Hampshire and is interested in hearing from groups who might like to contribute poems to an anthology or work with him on creating some new poems.

Ali Sparkes held the floor with an exciting and engaging session on her progress from a six year old with poor reading skills – courtesy of experimental alphabet-free teaching – to a top children’s author. As a child she dreamt of being on stage and being a performer of some description but all the time she wrote adventures.

Her journey started with family word games around the kitchen table, failed attempts at being accepted by acting schools, backstage work at musicals, a Bluecoat at Pontins [hoping for an Equity card], cabaret singer, journo then comedy writer for the Daily Echo, staffer for BBC Radio Solent, then a freelancer with pieces aired on Woman’s Hour and Home Truths. All this, whilst writing and pitching works to publishers.

Ali was frank and funny about her rejections, her earliest as a teenager and others after monumental feats of writing – 60,000 words in a fortnight. She opted for getting an agent and signed up to the late Rosemary Canter at Peters Fraser & Dunlop. She landed Ali with a contract from Oxford University Press for a five part series of Shapeshifter a couple of weeks after the deal was signed.

Ali was entertaining and inspiring – she is a success without any formal creative writing training or mentoring. She draws elements of her books from her family and advised us to always write the first draft of any book so that it entertains you first and foremost. Her latest book, Frozen in Time was inspired by The Famous Five, a childhood favourite.