Hampshire Writers' Society

Author: Catherine Griffin

  • The Asquith Report March 2014

     

    Report by Gill Hollands.

    Bobbie Neate’s new book is called Conspiracy of Secrets which is about a family tragedy and serendipity. The book took nine years to write and research, five of which were full time. When it was published, it was classified as a biography on Asquith which she was most unhappy about, but the classification has remained.

    cover_conspiracyofsecrets[1]Bobbie was one of four children. Her reason for writing this book is because of her stepfather, Louis Thomas Stanley. She describes him as a psychopath; he had no sense of guilt, he was persuasive, used his power, was attractive and a wonderful liar. He took in everyone around her mother. Louis had always been very secretive about his birth, his upbringing and his parents; even about what he did in the war. If questioned by the children, they were beaten and sent to bed. It was not until her mother became ill that he poured her money into her care, with a team of thirty nurses plus carers. Her mother had had a stroke and he had not called for any medical assistance. The family had to fight him for access to their mother; it ended in involving the Police and the matter was taken to Court.

    Bobbie stated that the start of a book is always crucial. Hers begins ‘Names have always fascinated me’. Louis did in fact mix with many famous people, e.g. Bonham-Carter, the Aga Khan, and she was intrigued by his social connections.

    The book Thirty-seven Days refers to Herbert Henry Asquith but it is very dry. However, in it she found a picture of Asquith and compared it to one of her stepfather. (These were passed around at the meeting.) The likeness is striking. Digging deeper, she found that Asquith, who became Prime Minister in 1912, despite having seven legitimate children already, had a girlfriend, Venetia Stanley who was twenty one at the time. Venetia came from a wealthy family, who owned Alderley Hall which had forty bedrooms. She was fond of animals and kept a penguin, monkeys and even a bear. She was his eldest daughter Violet’s (who later became a Bonham-Carter) best friend. Venetia and Violet went on hustings with Asquith for two elections that took place in 1911.

    Infidelity was rife amongst politicians. Even Lloyd George was known to have an affair with his secretary in the same year.

    However, despite a double page spread in the Daily Mail no family came forward to deny it. As now, when something is to be hushed up, people keep quiet. It emerged that Asquith wrote five hundred letters which are held in the Bodleian Library at Oxford, but Bobbie discovered that the scandalous letters had been omitted. Bobbie found several however, that made it clear Asquith turned to Venetia for advice during the war and he trusted her judgement. Her letters were kept under his pillow. Churchill often became irate with Asquith as he would write these letters in cabinet meetings.

    In summary, Bobbie learned that Asquith was a bragger as was her stepfather and she feels the characters fit, to confirm that indeed her stepfather was the illegitimate son of Herbert Henry Asquith.

     

  • Elizabeth Buchan Evening March 2014

    Report by Gill Hollands.

    Bobbie Neate was introduced as an ex senior lecturer at the University of Winchester. She left to work in educational publishing and has now set up her own non-fiction business. Her new book is called Conspiracy of Secrets which is about a family tragedy and serendipity. The book took nine years to write and research, five of which were full time.

    Bobbie’s reason for writing this book is because of her stepfather, Louis Thomas Stanley. He had always been very secretive about his birth and when she found a picture of Asquith and compared it to one of her stepfather, the likeness was striking. Digging deeper. she found that Asquith, who became Prime Minister in 1912, despite having seven legitimate children already, had a girl friend, Venetia Stanley, who was twenty-one at the time. Bobbie found several letters that made it clear that Asquith turned to Venetia for advice during the war. Further investigation confirmed that indeed her stepfather was the illegitimate son of Herbert Henry Asquith. For full details, see The Asquith Report.

    Bobbie Neate & Elizabeth Buchan
    Bobbie Neate & Elizabeth Buchan

    Elizabeth Buchan was introduced as a historical writer with a double degree in history and English. She began as a blurb writer for Penguin, even writing the introduction to Peter Rabbit, and was the Fiction Editor for Random House. She writes critical reviews, is the patron of the Guildford Book Fair and the ex-chair of the Romantic Novelists Association, as well as being an RNA prize-winner with 16 titles to date. Her book Revenge of the Middle-Aged Woman is now a TV movie and New York Times Bestseller. Her new book ‘I can’t begin to tell you’ comes out on 1 August.

    Elizabeth started by saying what a great community, writers are. She quoted Red Smith ‘There is nothing to writing – all you do is sit at a desk and open a vein.’ She feels this is correct. However, the bald sentence leaves out the fact that you begin on a rich and fascinating journey, both physically, as she has now been all around the World, and internally, as you discover a new internal landscape; a surprising adventure.

    She found being a blurb writer for Penguin, a great job; feet on the desk, reading the whole catalogue. She became a dinner party bore with all the facts she took in. Basically, she said blurb writers were pond-life who get kicked by sales, editors, marketing and authors. They took their revenge in words; e.g. if the blurb said ‘enchanting’ there was a dog in it; if it was ‘heart-warming’ there was a dog and a child; if it said ‘heart-wrenching’ they died; if it said ‘thoughtful’ it was boring; if it said ‘provocative’ it was irritating, etc. She considered blurb writing a mini art form. She did get into trouble once due to a misunderstanding and received a ‘To Whom It May Concern’ letter from a disgruntled reader whose name she had used by mistake for a dog. Even Dirk Bogarde in his writing days was upset by praise asking, ‘If I’m a writer on top form, where else do I have to go?’

    Catherine King with Barbara Large
    Catherine King with Barbara Large

    The lesson to learn is that each word has to earn its place and be genuine, apt and fresh. With writing novels it helps to be disciplined. Search for the essence of the book before you start. Empathise with the material and be economical with the truth. Each word has to count.

    The main requirement is to love what you are doing and do it with a passion, not as a grind or a chore. Keep your love for it sparkling and alive. You don’t have to travel to experience great changes. Good stories can be created just as well in a domestic setting. Be aware that you handle subjects differently as you age.

    Elizabeth was recently inspired by a visit to Denmark which was invaded during the war in 6 hours and became a protectorate. When the Nazis wanted to round up all the Jews they disappeared, hidden in barns or rowed across the sound by sympathetic Danes. She was very interested in the coding and the mistakes that were made. She wondered how a psyche would cope with the violence and how you go back to normal when it’s over. War is about lies.

    Finally, she offered one last anecdote about a writer who read a factual account in a local newspaper about a woman who fell under a train and a custody battle. This is what triggered Leo Tolstoy to write Anna Karenina. With that, she rested her case.

  • February Competition Winners 2014

    ‘Write the first four pages of the opening of a stage play – any period. ’

    Cecily O’Neill Artistic Director of the Chesil Theatre was the adjudicator for the February competition. This served as a preliminary to the one that the Chesil Theatre is launching with a deadline of April 30. (Chesil 10 x10 Drama Festival).

    A renowned authority in Drama in Education, Cecily works with students, teachers, directors, and actors throughout the world; leading drama workshops, speaking at conferences, and carrying out research.

    Cecily’s Adjudication:

    1st Prize: Anne Eckersley, A Family Affair

    Anne Eckersley skillfully sets up the opening of a very funny piece of theatre. Within the first four lines of dialogue she establishes the situation, clearly indicates the tone and the relationships of the characters and makes a joke. She rapidly sketches in an increasingly bizarre past and has the audience anticipating equally intriguing future events. I look forward to reading the rest of the play.

    A one act play in three scenes. Setting is Gran’s house: Small sitting room, still decorated in 1960s style. There are flying geese on the wall. Old fashioned large television occupies corner of the room. Net curtains at the windows. Furniture is dark and heavy, with white anti-macassars on all chairs. There is a large knitting bag by the fireplace and the floor is covered with a heavily patterned rug or carpet. In the centre of the room is a table covered with plates of sandwiches and cake.

    Scene One

    A telephone can be heard ringing in another room which is answered and on the television is a news bulletin that sets the scene as very much in present day.

    Father enters, looks at the television, turns it off, then wipes his hands on his trousers and helps himself to sandwiches, picks up one in each hand.

    Mother comes in carrying another plate of food, looks for somewhere to put it down, tutts, tries to pass it to him to hold. He thinks she is offering him more food, stuffs the

    rest of a sandwich into his mouth and reaches out for another sandwich.

    Mother Just take the bloody thing.

    (Pause. Father holds tray while mother makes space for it on the table.)

    Mother And where have you been all morning?

    Father Garden with George from next door. He’s quite upset.

    Mother {Taking the tray} Don’t sound so surprised.

    Father He said he’ll miss her and I don’t think he was joking. Wanted to know whether we were having her buried or cremated. I said we weren’t taking any chances, we were doing both. {He picks up a piece of cake)

    Mother You don’t think she’ll mind being cremated?

    Father When it comes to your mother, I stopped thinking a long time ago.

    Mother I did ask her once what she wanted us to do.

    Father What did she say?

    Mother I don’t know dear. Why don’t you surprise me?

     

    2nd Prize: Mike Rawlins, Happy Families

    Effective and witty dialogue in this piece by Mike Rawlins presents the family conflict very subtly and economically. The characterization is clear and having raised our expectations he subverts them in the final lines.

    Cast:

    Anne – 33, wife of Colin

    Belinda – 58, mother of Colin

    Colin – 35, himself

    A KITCHEN. A TABLE IS CS AT WHICH ANNE IS SEATED FACING DS. SHE IS READING A NEWSPAPER. BELINDA ENTERS SR. SHE IS CARRYING FRESHLY CUT FLOWERS IN A BASKET. SHE PLACES THE FLOWERS ON THE TABLE, RETRIEVES A VASE FROM A CUPBOARD AND SEATS HERSELF TO ANNE’S LEFT.

    Belinda: (She begins to arrange the flowers in the vase) Are you fond of Peonies, Anne?

    Anne: Between you and me, I think they’re pretentious; a bit overdone and blousy. They try too hard.

    Belinda: Colin has always liked them (beat) ever since he was a boy. He used to call them Mummy’s Flowers.

    Anne: Such insight in one so young.

    Belinda: Indeed. Where has it gone, I wonder?

    THERE IS A SHORT SILENCE

    Belinda: Did you not enjoy the salmon? I couldn’t help but notice that you’d hardly touched your lunch.

    Anne: The salmon was fine, really.

    Belinda: Are you sure. It can be a bit rich for some tastes. Perhaps I should have laid on something a little less (beat) refined.

    Anne: Thanks for your concern but it’s ok; I’m just not eating much lately.

    Belinda: You’re not unwell are you?

    Anne: No. I’m fine, (pause) thanks.

    THERE IS THE SOUND OF A DOOR SLAMMING AND COLIN IS HEARD OFFSTAGE

    Colin: For goodness sake, Ziggy! Will you please sit … good boy. Now, stay. Ziggy, stay.

    COLIN ENTERS SL. HE IS REMOVING HIS COAT AND APPEARS HOT AND FLUSTERED.

     

    3rd Prize: Niki Wakefield, PTA

    This play begins very promisingly, and the characters of the likeable but disorganized Hailey and the kind but rather pompous head teacher are effectively established. I enjoyed the amusing dialogue, but the lack of any real forward momentum makes me wonder if this is meant to be a one-act play.

    Act One, Scene One

    Lights up. The stage is set up as a headteacher’s office, with a desk and three chairs.

    There’s a small bin and various items on the desk, including a phone and an ugly trophy.

    Mr. Sharpe, a Headteacher in his mid-fifties, writes at his desk. There’s a knock at the door.

    Mr. Sharpe: Come in.

    Enter Hailey Reeves, early thirties, wearing a coat, loud pyjamas and novelty animal slippers. She looks nervous, like a naughty school girl.

    Hailey: Good morning, Mr. Sharpe.

    Mr. Sharpe: Bad morning, Mrs. Reeves?

    Hailey: Huh?

    He points at her pyjamas. She looks down. Horror! She quickly covers them up with her coat and sits down.

    Hailey: Headmaster, if it’s about the pet Ed brought in for animal week… we didn’t know it was an alligator.

    Mr. Sharpe: Seven children and a teacher had to see the school nurse, don’t you know?

    Hailey: I’m really sorry. The guy at the car boot said it was a newt.

    Mr. Sharpe: Don’t you know the difference? An alligator’s a brutal animal, part of the reptile family, native to China and the U.S. The Newt’s a member of the salamandridae family. We have several endangered natives here in the UK.

    Hailey: So the difference is one’s a protected species and the other you need protecting from?

    Mr. Sharpe: Well, yes… I suppose you could say that.

    Hailey: We thought something was up when it ate all the goldfish.

    Mr. Sharpe: Alligators are fascinating creatures. Fascinating. Their ancestry dates all the way back to the dinosaurs. They’ve been found in fossils, don’t you know? But they don’t belong in an infant school. (Pause) Anyway, I didn’t ask you here about that. I asked you here because… well…

    He picks up the phone.

    Mr. Sharpe (cont.): You can let them in now. I’m sorry about what’s going to happen next.

    Feb 14 Nikki Wakefield Mike Rawlins Anne Eckersley
    The Winners

    Highly Commended: Karin Groves (pseudonym Georgie Jensen), Trench Truce

    Georgie Jensen has set her play in the trenches of WW1 where two wounded soldiers from opposing sides encounter each other. Our sympathies are engaged by these likeable characters, although Heine’s perfect English is not explained. The challenge for the playwright will be to keep these two characters connected in spite of wounds and wartime.

    Highly Commended: Sally Russell, (pseudonym Erin Clay), The Visitors

    There is some lively dialogue in Erin Clay’s play and a growing sense of menace as one couple plan to take over the home and lives of the other older pair. Although the exposition could be clearer, this is an ambitious attempt to handle quite a complicated plot.

     

    The prizes were journals, together with a signed Certificate of Adjudication by Cecily O’Neill. The opening page of the first, second, and third competition winners is shown as follows:

    In Conclusion:

    Cecily O’Neill said that she very much enjoyed reading the entries, and that the standard of work was so high, she wished she could have given everyone an award.

  • Scriptwriter, Steve Hawes speaks to the Hampshire Writers’ Society

    Report by Carole Hastings

    Chairman Barbara Large introduced this evening’s guests and told the audience about Chawton House Library’s Jane Austen Short Story Award 2014 see: http://www.chawton.org for details.

    The special speaker was Deborah Edgington, head of marketing for the Chesil Theatre. The theatre’s home for the last 40 years has been a former 12th century church.  It is one of the oldest buildings used as a theatre today and is one of the oldest dramatic societies in the country, celebrating its 150 anniversary this year.  They have six productions each year and are always looking for new members to be involved on a number of fronts.  In 2008 they performed 10 plays written by members of the Nuffield Theatre that were 10 minutes in length.  In 2010, The Chesil set up the 10 x 10 Drama competition open to members of the Chesil Theatre and local interested parties.  This was extended to a county wide competition in 2012 and in celebration of their 150th anniversary this will be a national competition open to all writers over the age of 16.  The deadline is April 25.  For details on the competition, membership and to find out what’s on: ww.chesiltheatre.org.uk

     Feb 14 Steve Hawes

    Steve Hawes joined Granada Television as a sports journalist in 1976 where he became Head of Drama. He produced sport and documentary features for ITV’s regional and national networks 1978-82, and adapted Arthur Ransome’s fishing stories for Michael Hordern, Rod and Line, Channel 4 1982.   He started producing drama in 1984 and subsequently moved to Paris to produce the first twelve episodes of the Maigret series starring Bruno Cremer, which ran until 2006 when the 54th episode was aired. For the last few years of the run he was lead writer on the series.

    He is currently polishing The Great Charter,  a play about the Magna Carta and his adaptation of Dimitri Verhulst’s novel, Probelmski Hotel, with Director Manu Riche and a multinational cast, as a joint film and theatre association between the Flemish film fund (VAF) and KVS at the THÉÂTRE NATIONAL in Brussels.   His version of Beauty and the Beast, with songs by Stephen Solloway, ran for the Christmas season 2011/12 at the Haymarket Theatre Basingstoke, where his play set in a Venetian convent, Original Sin, also opened in 2009.Steve opened his session with a quotation from Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar:

    Let me have men about me that are fat;

    Sleek-headed men and such as sleep o’ nights:

    Yond Cassius has a lean and hungry look;

    He thinks too much: such men are dangerous.

    He remarked that a university campus has too much thinking going on and was as such a dangerous place.  He counselled writers to trust their instinct when writing, to write viscerally, shut off their critical self and to avoid over thinking.  Keep to gut feeling rather than intellect.  To keep focused on what will create the best drama, he suggested making notes with the opposite hand that you use normally, avoiding a lengthier version which may take you away from the heart of the piece.  He pointed out that major turning points in drama are about the visceral.  Shakespeare’s Macbeth and Aeschylus’s Oresteia are good [and bloody] examples of this.

    When Steve was researching The Great Charter he discovered that of the 63 clauses in Magna Carta, a third relate to men possessing women and that women were fundamentally jailed by the church in marriage.  When he set about his plan for it he focused on suspicion, aware that the only time a person’s word was trusted was when they spoke to a priest.  Hence the need for the Magna Carta and due process requiring the state to respect legal rights of all individuals.

    He set his first act in Winchester Cathedral with King John being re-anointed as King.  He is avoiding confession as he and the Archbishop both know that there are things that the Archbishop should not know about.  However the Queen inveigles the Archbishop into hearing her confession and she tells  him things he otherwise would not believe.  Steve creates this dramatic action by drawing the queen to the front centre stage, has her dropping to her knees facing the audience and positions the Archbishop directly behind her, fading out all lights on stage other than on their faces.  An act of pure theater.

    This juxtaposition of time works well on stage, where time is more elastic but on film another solution would be needed involving relocating away from the body of the Cathedral.

    Steve feels closeups are a key benefit of film as expressive faces and eyes can create a contrast between text and subtext not achievable on stage.

    He cites that on film you need to advance or retreat in each scene but not run on the spot as you can in theater where some of the most rewarding moments can be when time stands still.  This view is also held by Robert McKee who asks “what is the value of this scene?” in determining whether it should stay or cut.  In a film version of Hamlet with Laurence Olivier, the scenes in the second act were reduced from eight to three keeping the drama moving on in each scene.  Steve maintains that the key to effective drama is maintaining an unstable equilibrium.

    Steve talked about breaking down the fourth wall between actors and audience and said that in his experience actors like moments of complicity with the audience, but producers and editors don’t.  He warned that often a writer’s favourite elements in his own play are often too writerly and often need editing.  He reminded us that often the visceral moments are the quiet moments and left us with plenty to think about…

  • Megan Farr and Sarah Mussi PowerPoint Presentation January 2014

    How to write a children’s book that editors know they can go for…

    What do editors want?

    • This is a total mystery to most writers , so we have to be cunning sleuths…
    • What might they go for? … Pick up your magnifying glass – let’s start to see if we can find any clues…
    • Start by examining the crime scene…
    • Checklist
    • What do children like reading
    • What will parents buy/ librarians stock?
    • What has succeeded before?
    • Why has it succeeded before?
    • Others?

    Red herrings…

    • Editors go for some books that include factors which are totally beyond your control.
    • So don’t be side tracked…

    Things beyond your control

    • Being famous like David Beckham
    • Already being published by the editor
    • Having entered the canon like To Kill a Mockingbird.
    • others?

    What does that leave?

    • YOU
    • So only look at books that:
    • Are written by a writer like you
    • Have no extraordinary advantages in terms of editor-go-for-ness.

    So what DO editor’s think they can go for?

    • I’m an author –so I don’t really know – so I have to make an educated guess: a book that they can:
    • Sell rights to?
    • Get into festivals?
    • Interest bloggers?
    • Get into schools?
    • Create a buzz about?
    • Take to book fairs?
    • LIKE ? (that’s pretty vague!)

    Hopefully Megan can tell us more!

    Back to the crime scene…What did those successful books do?

    • Pleased librarians
    • Engaged       child readers
    • Were age appropriate
    • Educational ? Or dealt with interesting issues?
    • Page turning
    • High concepts
    • Original and unusual USPs
    • Well written
    • Saleable…

    What do I (The Mussi) do?

    Before I try to get that killer contract I…

    • Research books being currently published (by publication house if possible)
    • I try to create a data base of the interests of editors (don’t often get very far with that)
    • I read new books out
    • I interview children on their likes and dislikes

    4 Key Ingredients – I always try to include in a proposal

    • Some depth in the story
    • Page turnability
    • Original and exciting concept or a new original exciting take on an old one
    • Interesting voice or narration

    So how do I set about doing that?

    • I brainstorm ideas that suit
    • I eliminate any idea that are not original enough
    • I check the idea against the list /data base I’ve created
    • I write a story pitch for the idea
    • I repeat this until I have a portfolio of possible ideas
    • I send them out to other trusted readers for feedback (I am only interested in negative feedback)
    • I redraft the ideas

    What then?

    • I can go straight to my agent…
    • but if you don’t have one…
    • You will need to write up the first few thousand words. (If an editor is interested in one of my ideas I have to do that too.)
    • And send it out or pitch it – at a one to one.

    And what if nothing happens?

    • I do it all over again.
    • My philosophy is very simple
    • If at first you don’t succeed – give up (with that idea)
    • Where there’s a will there’s a way (and if there’s no way there’re always excuses)
    • if they aren’t interested in an idea, and don’t think it’ll sell – then why the heck should I be?

  • Hot Key Books Submissions

    Capture

    About Hot Key Books

    Hot Key Books is a division of Bonnier Publishing, publishing books for 9 – 19 year olds. We started publishing in 2012.

    We publish stand out, quality fiction that people like to talk about.

    Many of us come from a background of traditional publishing, looking to do things a little differently, focusing on top-notch author care and actually talking to readers who love books just as much as we do.

    Who Are Hot Key?

    Accessible

    Author-focused

    Innovative

    Having fun

    Book lovers

    A Good Publisher Gives You

    Money

    Expertise

    An audience

    Support

    A happy feeling

    Editorial

    Acquires

    Pitches internally

    Edits, works closely with authors

    Promotes internally

    Bottom line:

    Starts the process

    Design

    Concepts the cover

    Commissions the cover

    Company/imprint branding

    Typography, inside & out

    Bottom line:

    Makes it look good

    Production

    Negotiates pricing

    Deals with special effects

    Manages scheduling and logistics

    Bottom line:

    Makes it real

    Marketing/PR

    Involved in acquiring

    Builds list of pre-readers (bloggers/media)

    Commissions promotional materials

    Books events, especially festivals

    Bottom line:

    Spreads the word

    Sales

    Works with retailers

    Gets books into store

    All around the world

    Manages stock

    Bottom line:

    Puts it where readers can get it

    Finance

    Pulls together all the costs

    Makes recommendations

    Bottom line:

    Keeps us all in line

    Digital

    Not a separate department

    Infused into everything

    Blurs the lines between all the departments

    Bottom line:

    The saviour of (some) publishers

    Submissions

    Thinking about submitting? Great! First, make sure your manuscript is amazing. Then, send it in full to us at enquiries@hotkeybooks.com. Please include a full synopsis too! We don’t mind what format files are sent to us in (although we prefer Word and PDF) but please note that we only accept electronic submissions. We will always try to get back to you within three months.

    Questions?

    @HotKeyBooks

    enquiries@hotkeybooks.com

    http://www.hotkeybooks.com

  • Celebration of Jane Austen: What Matters in Jane Austen?

    Report by Carole Hastings

    The Hampshire Regency Dancers opened proceedings by dancing a selection of dances as would have been enjoyed in Jane  Austen’s day.  They demonstrated dances that offered opportunities for flirting, away from beady-eyed chaperones.   A few members and guests took to the floor for a lesson at the end of the session.04_ Regency Dancers Dec 13 (2)

    Barbara Large, aka Lady Catherine de Bourgh, welcomed everyone, some resplendent in regency costume. She then introduced the special guest of the evening, Angela Hicken, Literary Development Office for the Hampshire County Council, a role has had had for eight years.   Her role is county-wide and she tends to operate from the Discovery Centres of Winchester, Basingstoke and Gosport.

    09_ Reg Dancers Dec 13 (3)Angela has introduced a number of “meet the author” events and panel evenings and encouraged the audience to take part in A Perfect Crime Day on Saturday March 8 at the WDC.  During the day there will be a fact meets fiction event and in the evening there will be an Are You Sitting Comfortably? performance of crime stories by the White Rabbit company.  Send your 1000 word crime stories to areyousittingcomfortably@live.com by February 22.  Angela will soon announce the winner of the Hampshire Poet Laureate for 2014 and reminded everyone that the Writing Hampshire website provides poets with a chance to say what the county means to them.

    There are a number of initiatives running in the county, including poetry cafes, reading groups etc.  The new WDC brochure will be available soon but many events 2014 can be seen already on www.hants.gov.uk/wdc.  As only 36% of the UK read for pleasure and libraries are under pressure,  Angela stirred the audience to go and discover some books they might not think to read and get involved with the writing opportunities on offer there.

    07_ Reg Dancers Dec 13 (3)David Eadsforth, dashing in his regency uniform, introduced the main speaker of the evening, John Mullan, Professor of English at University College London. He was a Research Fellow at Jesus College, Cambridge and a Lecturer at Fitzwilliam College, Cambridge, before joining UCL in 1994.  John is a specialist in eighteenth-century literature and is at present writing the volume of the Oxford English Literary History that will cover the period from 1709 to 1784. He has edited a number of works by Daniel Defoe and his edition of Samuel Johnson’s Lives of the Poets was published in 2008. He also has research interests in the nineteenth century, and in 2012 published his book What Matters in Jane Austen?

    John ran a lively session predominantly asking the audience questions and providing the answers when they weren’t forthcoming.  These  ranged from which Austen character had been to Cheltenham [Mary Crawford, the antagonist in Mansfield Park]  to which wife is the only one in an Austen novel who addressed her husband by his forename [Mary Musgrove in Persuasion].  He pointed out that Mary refers to her husband as Charles when she is about to disagree with him and he refers to her as Mary, when he’s about to make a point that she is wrong.  The Bennets, however, remain on surnames throughout Pride and Prejudice.11_ John Mullan Dec 13 (3)

    Not long into his session we learnt that everything matters in Jane Austen and that no words are wasted anywhere.  He discussed the issue of age in Austen’s books as she highlighted age a good deal, making the point that most women are approaching the years of danger once they are more than 27 years old.  He stated that in Pride and Prejudice, Charlotte Lucas [27] and Mr. Collins [25] had the shortest courtship and all carried out in full view of the Lucas and Bennett family.  It was a whole afternoon!  Christmas also features in all her novels whether they were a feature of regular balls or a family visits.

    It was an interesting evening packed with snippets and plenty of food for thought.   There will no doubt be some rereading of Jane Austen novels to pick up the nuances we may have missed in the past.

  • December Competition Winners 2013

    report by Celia Livesey

    ‘Write a new beginning for Pride and Prejudice: It is a truth universally acknowledged… 200 words.

    We were very pleased to welcome Sandra Cain as our adjudicator. Sandra is a Senior Lecturer in creative and media writing, communications and public relations at Southampton Solent University, and has published eleven books, the latest being Media Writing, A Practical Introduction (with Dr Craig Batty) and Key Concepts in Public Relations, both published by Palgrave Macmillan.

    Sandra’s Adjudication:

    1st Prize: Sally Russell, New Boy in Town

    A satirical, contemporary take on the opening lines of Pride and Prejudice with a bold and exciting use of the vernacular … resulting in a written piece bubbling with enthusiastic glee.

    This tells the tale of a mother looking for a suitable match for her daughters, in a veritable honey-pot hot spot favoured by ex-pats of dubious character.

    ***

    It is a truth universally acknowledged that a mother wants the best possible match for her daughters.

    “’Ere, Jase,” said Candice, “told ya someone’d bought the Chateau. Saw a Maserati drivin’ up the hill.”

    “..an’ a Corsa, Ma,” added Tyler, scratching a pimple. “’ad a bangin’ spoiler.”

    “Guess who it is,” urged Candice.

    Jason dangled his arm over the side of the sun lounger and grabbed a beer from the ice bucket, the water droplets sizzling in the heat as they hit the patio. He took a slurp then swiveled his cap round so the peek pointed forwards, and lay back, his head resting on the air pillow.

    “Tell me if you must,” he mumbled, beer leaking from the side of his mouth. He stroked the long dark hairs on his fat belly and belched.

    “Barnaby Smith,” she announced excitedly.

    “Geezer who did Lloyd’s in Chelmsford?”

    “That’s the one,” said Candice, and squeezed her hands together in anticipation. “He’s loaded.”

    “So? Didn’t do so bad ourselves.”

    “No, but Ellie-Mae or Chantelle’d be made up if they got wiv ‘im.”

    Jason sighed.

    And that’s how Barnaby “Smiffy” Smith, the blond, bronzed, medallion-wearing new boy in town, became a person of interest.

    Sue and Sally
    Sue and Sally

    2nd Prize: Gill Hollands, (untitled)

    A fun and flighty piece of writing with a quip on the name of Bingley. True to the original but with a modern twist to a classic story.

    It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a Porsche must have the time of his life. However little we know about him, the car clearly shows his status and intentions. This truth is so well fixed in modern minds that girls will be drawn to him as a bee to honey, despite the frantic attempts at restraint by their families.

    ‘Ben,’ said his wife as she twitched down the curtain one day,’ the perv with the Porsche is back.’

    ‘Is he a perv?’

    ‘Lily told me all about him.’

    Ben went back to his copy of The Sun.

    ‘Don’t you want to know who he is?’ Cried his wife, impatient.

    ‘You want to tell me. So, get on with it.’ Sighing, he laid down his paper.

    `Well Lily says that he’s the son of an antique dealer from the north of England; that he comes down on Mondays to chase the girls. She heard that the car’s on HP. Mr. Morris at the Bradford& Bingley is to take possession before Christmas, unless he coughs up by the end of next week.’

    `Hmm. If he keeps the Porsche, I’ll have to watch he doesn’t take a fancy to you then…’

    3rd Prize: Sue Spiers, (untitled)

    An accomplished piece of writing written in the style of nineteenth century prose, sustained with wit, charm and elegance.

    It is a truth universally acknowledged…that a beautiful woman is more acceptable as a wealthy man’s wife than a woman who has wit as her first accomplishment. A beautiful woman will grace the home of a duke as easily as a man of her father’s rank. A witty woman requires a husband of equal intellect lest she be thought a shrew by his relatives. A woman of wit may choose not to marry if her choices are limited to dullards but this has its own difficulties if her father is unable to support a spinster. A beautiful woman may have no need of needlecraft or musicianship because her admirable figure and amiable company will be enough to keep a line of suitors at her door. Wit rarely allows a plain woman to ascend the steps of enviable matches unless she is wise enough to make the best of her meagre attractions. It is a rare man who favours book learning over charming coiffeurs and a rarer woman who prefers to see her sisters married before she has received any man into her affections.

    Highly Commended: Sally Russell, Day of the Peahen
    A quirky re-telling with a clucking mother hen desperate to secure a good catch for her chicks. Plenty of shrieking, ducking and scurrying to set the scene.

    Highly Commended: David Eadsforth, (untitled), pseudonym Geoff Stuart

    A fast-paced piece written a la Austen but from the more masculine point of view of Mr Bennett. The well-placed military references to strategy and skirmishes foreground the romantic battles to come.

     

    The prizes were a selection of signed paperbacks by John Mullan and a Certificate of Adjudication signed by Sandra Cain.
    In Conclusion:
    Only ten entries were received for the December competitions, and it is possible that the subject did put some people off. However, Sandra said she had enormous fun pondering the competition entries, and also enjoys helping writers to get their work noticed, talked about and sold.

  • November Competition Winners 2013

    ‘Write a Soliloquy for a Dramatic Character in Blank Verse – up to 20 lines’

    We were pleased to welcome our adjudicator Dr Mark Rutter, a lecturer at the University of Winchester. Mark is no stranger to the HWS: founder members might remember him as one of the ‘Three Poets at Work’ at the December 2011 meeting. As well as being a poet he is active as a visual artist and fiction writer, and also a member of the British Haiku Society and the Haiku Society of America.

    Mark’s Adjudication:

    1st Prize: Celia Livesey (Pseudonym Joanne Ward) Soliloquy of One of the Trolls from The Hobbit

    ‘I enjoyed the use of an unconventional, “unpoetic” voice in this poem. A lively and original poem.’

    I could’ve been anyfink – yes I could,

    There’s loads of jobs an’ fings at wot I’m good.

    I could’ve been a chef; it’s not my fault

    They don’t like stew with slugs and lots of salt.

    I could’ve been Pri-minister, but then

    I’d ’ave to learn to write and spell – an’ it’s

    All very well, but with snot on my chin

    My image was wrong – I’m not even thin!

    It’s tasty though, snot is, so I don’t care,

    But I’ve got a feelin’ that life ain’t fair.

    I tried to be an astro-nut, they sent

    Me into space, but the helmet gave me

    Allergies – an’ bumps all over me face.

    I could make it big on telly, but I’ve

    Always bin too smelly – but trolls can dream.

    Now rooted to the spot, and turned to stone,

    Far from the Misty Mountains, far from home,

    I curse that Bilbo Baggins, he really

    Is to blame, for since the sunshine hit me

    I’ve never been the same. An’ that’s a fact!

    2nd Prize: Robert Brydges Lines from 1594

    ‘I liked the way the poem managed to pack in a great deal of literary history and speculation about authorship without sounding like an essay. The rhythm never becomes bogged down and sounds convincingly like a voice.’

    Wm. Sh: Blank verse, you say? I’ve had a go. My lines

    Plod carthorse-like uphill: ka-PLONK-ka-PLONK.

    But Marlowe’s soared! We heard his Tamburlaine,

    In High Astounding Terms, defy the gods!

    (He went to Cambridge, Kit did – not like me).

    He’d had a string of hits, then – odd, this was –

    He asked to ghost some Histories in my name.

    Of course I see it now: he’d always planned

    To ‘die’ and go abroad! Well, can’t complain;

    I take the credit, so I keep the cash.

    His Muse was killed in Deptford though, and now

    He’s mostly doing chick-lit – that and farce.

    He’s gone from writing Faustus and The Jew

    To The Comedy of Errors and The Shrew!

    Love’s Labours Lost! I ask you! Poppycock.

    The man has lost his mojo. So perhaps

    The brand of ‘Shakespeare’ needs another ghost?

    Like Thomas Kyd? Or better still – George Peele!

    A butcher’s feast of vengeance, rape and blood;

    Say –Titus, for a title? That’ll do.

    3rd Prize: Gwen Hobbis Dionysus Ponders the Cuts

    ‘This just struck me as an original take on the subject of the cuts, both amusing and to the point.’

    I would never have believed it. The government’s last decree

    on austerity. It applies to us deities too. Cuts all round.

    I, Dionysus, God of wine, how can I make cuts? See,

    junkets, festivals, civilization, happy eternal youth,

    perpetual raving and more. It’s here in my job description.

    I scarcely can make merry on vin ordinaire or breakfast tea.

    And then there’s Zeus with his mighty thunderous boilings,

    and Poseidon too. Must he also curb his awesome rages?

    Are their displays to be confined to blustery showers

    and volcanoes which erupt in well controlled displays?

    Ares, God of manly courage, war and bloodlust,

    Will his tumult shrink to mere argument and fracas?

    As for Apollo, God of archery and music, I trust he won’t be asked

    to cope with only peashooter and maracas.

    Pluto, God of this world’s hidden wealth, he should be aware

    the underworld of darkness is at risk.

    And Hera, Queen of marriage, women, childbirth, must reject

    pressure to downsize to hasty assignations or one night stands.

    And so Zeus, King of Gods, I hope he’ll tell them ‘Nuts, it’s mere mortals,

    the little folk, they are the ones who always get the cuts.’

     

    Highly Commended: Sally Russell Tom’s Turmoil

    Highly Commended: Sally Russell Demise of a Family Man

     

    The prizes were signed copies by Ros Barber of The Marlowe Papers, and a Certificate of Adjudication signed by Mark Rutter.

     

    In Conclusion: Our thanks to Mark for his adjudication – very much appreciated by the winners, and to all our contestants, 19 competition entries received in all – a tremendous response.

  • Dr Ros Barber at the HWS

    Barbara Large opened the evening by welcoming special guest Dr Mick Jardine, Head of English, Creative Writing and American Studies at the University of Winchester, Dr Ros Barber our main speaker and Mark Rutter adjudicator for the November competition.  She also introduced James Walpole, the new Social Media Secretary on the organising committee. James is in his final year studying English and Creative Writing but also is a contributing author to Cinema Chords.

    Dr Ros Barber & Dr Mark Rutter
    Dr Ros Barber & Dr Mark Rutter

    Mick described himself as the warm up for Ros Barber. He joined the University in 1978 and been a key player in the theory revolution team that has facilitated the original English Studies morphing into Cultural Studies. He himself has recently produced papers on celebrity culture, writing about David Beckham and Michael Owen rather than Hamlet as he did for his PhD dissertation. Now there are more students of Creative Writing than English Language students at the University.

    David Eadsforth introduced Dr Ros Barber who as well as being a celebrated academic, has written three collections of poems, written for radio and TV, held various writing residences and written an award winning debut novel entirely in verse, The Marlowe Papers.

    Ros was told that she was not allowed to research whether Shakespeare did write work attributed to him as part of a PhD project, unless it was with the intention of producing a novel. It seemed there was a fear of doubting caused by snobbery, ignorance, conspiracy theory and a belief that those interested to find out more must be Shakespeare haters.

    Her investigations showed that there is hard evidence that Shakespeare was a business man and a broker involved in land, grain, tithes, shares, marriage dowry transactions and money lending. He was a shareholder in a number of theatrical organisations and had his name on thirteen plays. There were other plays and poems that had his name that he did not write. The repressed Elizabethan era was a difficult time to be a writer and often writers might use a front person to avoid torture or death. His signature that appears on various works seems to have been the work of up to four people and his hand writing is difficult to read unlike those of other playwrights of the day such as Marlowe and Bacon.

    Ben Jonson, the satirist hinted that he doubted that Shakespeare wrote all he claimed to although he appeared to support him publicly. His authorship was also doubted by John Marston and Joseph Hall in 1598. Diana Price, in her book Shakespeare’s Unorthodox Biography, developed a Literary Paper Trail of ten indicators of an individual being a writer at this time:

    • evidence of education
    • literary letters
    • evidence that they were paid to write
    • direct relationship with a patron
    • original manuscript
    • hand-written literary notes
    • commendation verses
    • miscellaneous personal references
    • books owned or borrowed
    • notice at death as writer

    Jonson had all ten indicators, Nashe nine, Marlowe as few as four or three and Shakespeare had none, though a lot of work attributed to him appeared to indicate a Cambridge University education he did not have.

    We are led to believe he is the author of William Shakespeare’s Comedies, Histories and Tragedies, as it has his name on it. There is also a memorial to him in Stratford upon Avon referred to by Ben Jonson.  The engraving on the monument uses rare Latin words for the day whose initials spell the word IMPOST – a tax on merchandise. The main script is ambiguous too.

    untitled

    All the real evidence as to who Shakespeare was, profiles a business man broker with supporting comments from his contemporaries that he may have been involved in buying and selling plays and poems. Ben Jonson, “Poet-Ape, who would be thought our chief”  “from brokage” to “thief”; John Ward, Shakespeare “supplied the stage with two plays a year”; Michael Drayton, Shakespeare “trafficked with the stage”.

    Ros ended her exciting and scientific appraisal by saying it does matter that Shakespeare’s authorship is doubted. An error needs to be corrected so that the right person gets the credit, we need to understand the genius that comes from groundwork, understand the sonnets better and stop barking up the wrong tree.